Every person reacts differently to loss and it’s a highly personal process that can manifest in a roller coaster of emotions including shock, numbness, anxiety, loneliness and anger. Grief counselling won’t solve every problem associated with your loss but it can help you to grieve without it destroying you.
The emotional support of family and friends is very important but counselling can help you to navigate all the complex feelings and reach a resolution in a healthy way.
- Understand more about what you’re going through
A grief counsellor will help you to understand what you’re experiencing. Family and friends may have very positive intentions but they can’t always understand the spectrum of emotions you’re going through. They may expect you to be sad and cry but they may not understand your anger or frustration.
A counsellor will be familiar with common and uncommon manifestations of grief and loss. They can make what you’re going through more understandable and empower you to recover. At Vernon Counselling, you can speak with a counsellor in person, on the phone or online. This can help you to explore and process distressing and often confusing emotions.
- Identify and deal with your trauma
Your counsellor will help you to identify the traumatic aspects of your experience. Perhaps you witnessed the death of your loved one. You can describe and discuss the particular experiences involved in your loss so that you can move past them and go on to grieving the death.
The shock of a trauma can make you feel numb and you may go on as if nothing has happened. In grief sessions, you will explore this so you can accept the reality of your loss. Your counsellor will help you to come to the point where you can express your emotions in whatever way works best for you.
- Talk freely about your feelings
Talking about your loss is not always that easy. Even if you have family and friends around you, you don’t always want to burden them with your grief. If you’re a parent, you may not want to cry in front of a child. However, bottling up your feelings is not a healthy path to recovery.
Counselling sessions can provide a safe, non-judgmental space where you can fully express your emotions. Expressing your thoughts and feelings without being afraid of saying the wrong things can bring relief and put you on the path to recovery.
- Grieve in your own way and time
The Kübler-Ross theory gives five well-known stages people go through when they experience grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. However, you don’t go through the process from loss to resolution in a linear way. People may get stuck in one stage, progress but fall back or postpone their grief only for it to surface unexpectedly months later.
Grief counsellors do not try to hurry the process along. They allow individuals to grieve in their own way and in their own time.
- Overcome your guilt
Many people feel guilty about what they have said or done or not said or done when a loved one passes away. Not dealing with guilt feelings can result in you trying to drown them out with negative coping strategies, such as alcohol or drug abuse.
Counsellors can identify your guilt feelings and help you to avoid the futility of blaming yourself as you mourn a deceased loved one. They can help you to find constructive ways to deal with the reality that all relationships are imperfect and to resolve your guilt.